Where do I stand now??!!

Yes, back after quite a gap. Yet another post for my blog which has been starving these days. No electrifying situations or PJ’s this time. Am I getting serious? Don’t know.

Not every time do I think more, especially about life. I still don’t think I can explore myself. No chance. But when you look back or start understanding your own do’s and don’t’s, knowingly or unknowingly you will tend to assess yourself. You will try to find an evolution in you which may actually not exist at all. You will try to compare your lifestyles at various stages. If you are a dreamer, you will even start finding the probable way ahead, be it clumsy or vague. I feel it’s always good to have one such self assessment every now and then.

One such thing happened to me. Sitting in the cab on a rainy Monday morning, after looking at the calendar scratching my head what to do next, I managed to peep out of the window. Saw a group of college boys, holding each other under an umbrella, moving towards the bus stop. My memory rolled back to college days. 4 of us used to go under 1 umbrella, holding each other and chase the bus to college. May be, we as well helped some other person sitting in an unknown cab missing his friends, revert back to his old memories :)

18 months since then. Some changes. We have started chasing our dreams. Our priorities may have changed. We now know how much we get, how much we save. We can calculate tax; we can think independent and what not? But then, is this all? I used to enjoy the small budget food with friends at a chats shop near college rather than the expensive meals which I never even thought that I would have some day. I used to manage with a small currency balance for the whole month, but still in touch with friends. Now, the case is bit different. But fortunately most of the best friends are still in touch. Time spent and frequency may be less, but the intensity still remains. In the same way, we used to talk, laugh and enjoy even when travelling on the foot board of BMTC. Now, people hardly open their mouth even when they sit next to you in cabs.

Certain things don’t change. Pocket may be heavier now, but the way of spending money has been the same, then and now. And yes, this will be the same even in the future. Same thing holds good for professionalism, Time sense and discipline. These terms have been the black box for me. Home food is still the top priority. Last minute slog still happens during the release time. Just like the last exams, Friday evenings now bring smile on my face.

Now looking at the more positive changes, yes there are a few. Responsibility – I understand the term quite well now. The hunger to be more responsible and hard working is more. My anger is still the biggest weakness. But it is no longer “rip the opposition apart” kind now. It is more controlled and channelized. One more significant change is the ability to apologize and admit mistakes. My ego would never allow me to do this before. Yes, mistakes are made and many lessons are learnt. I am now more sensitive and more attached to family than ever before. There was a myth that corporate world does not allow you to make good friends. But surprisingly, I could make some very good friends here as well.

So all in all, evolution is bound to happen, sooner or later. But we don’t have to worry about it as far as it is positive. Yes, it is difficult to pick between the two lifestyles. We just need to enjoy, find new means of happiness as and when they come and keep getting better with time. THE SHOW MUST GO ON :)